Tagline Mania

Now Mania is one of those really funny words that can mean a few things but the definitions I like are “excessive excitement or enthusiasm; craze:” and “an ancient Roman goddess of the dead”. Most are familiar with the first usage as in Wrestle Mania and at first, that’s what popped into my head when I started my search for the elusive UPS Tagline that I thought was so bad.

I went to the UPS corporate site and found a list of trademarks.
There were over 100 registered marks but the one I was looking for was not there. I’m not sure whether the 100 trademarks represent tagline mania or Tagline Mania where the capital letters reflect the proper name for the goddess of the dead.

I continued my search as I Googled taglines & UPS. The first reference was a story about the new global tagline which had a focus on China. It is an imperative statement which leaves me cold as to it’s meaning and promise. Maybe it sounds better in Chinese: UPS launches ‘Deliver More’ tagline – Atlanta Business Chronicle

The next tagline I found is a classic but as pointed out by one critic, “The UPS tagline, “What Can Brown Do For You?” catches your attention, but really does not tell you much of anything about UPS.” Another critic is even harsher as he noted, “Sorry UPS, But Brown Reminds Me of Dog Poop.”

“Moving at the Speed of Business” is on the list and I actually like it so long as you don’t confuse it with Microsoft .Net which is also “Moving at the speed of Business.”

I viewed four pages of Google to find the bad tag line because it was so bad I couldn’t remember anything about it except that it stunk. I finally found it! Synchronizing Global Commerce. Now when it comes to global commerce, I’m not even sure that God can promise “to cause to go on, move, operate, work, etc., at the same rate and exactly together.”

A far easier phrase to understand, remember and which happens to be true for UPS, DHL, FedEx and a few other firms is that they are “Making Global Business Possible!” (copyright John A. Boyd, 2006)
Of course this is the Internet and everything is for sale Anyone who wants to purchase my creative and catchy phrase can give a shout.